I can hardly believe that it has been seven sad months since my last post. In fact, I am ashamed that I let it go this long. The funny thing is, that it was not just because I was busy or un-inspired- but rather that I was afraid.
Afraid of the truth. A truth that kept me so "busy" I could not break away to find my soul to write about it.
A truth I did not think I could truly face- up until a few hours ago.
A truth that envelopes me to the very core of my being:
I am a human being and love scares me.
See, these past few months, I had been "deciding" whether or not I wanted this "love" thing. There's so much literature out there, and advice from others that can leave you flustered at times. The enemy can use pain and disappointment to make you falsely believe that God has forgotten about you (NEVER!!!) and self-pity or reckless abandonment can soon set in.
Very Dangerous. So once again, I thought I had embarked on what would have been a world-romance, but only turned out to be just another gust of wind to knock me off my feet leaving me to pick up the pieces. I feel a "Wedding Singer" version of "Love Stinks" coming on...!
See, the trouble, is that all these past instances were really not Love. Not even slightly Love. Remotely Love. In fact, it was barely even friendship. It was really me wanting to see what I wanted to see to avoid loneliness, heartbreak or having to wait on God. It was two people creating an alternate reality which couldn't be further from the truth of God's Word. It was convenience and lust, obligation and desire, disagreement and disunity. "Where there is agreement- God commands his blessing"- a verse not only to be applied on Tuesday prayer meetings. For God requires us to walk in unity if His blessing is to abound.
Sometimes, we need to read the signs for what they are. Maya Angelou said:
"When someone shows you who they are- believe them". Don't keep wishing and hoping they will change along the way by all your "niceness". Niceness doesn't get you to heaven. And if a guy (even a "Christian" one, in the church, ministering the Word) approaches you with words inconsistent with God's Holy Truth- shut it down! A REAL MAN OF GOD WOULD NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER
(I don't care what his position in the church may be) compromise your values, purity and stand in Christ. So, don't fall for those honey-dipped lies of compromise. #ShutItDown
Oh, I am tired of falling. Falling down. Falling in Love. Falling for Lies. Falling period. It hurts. It confuses. It takes up my time and I always tend to "read" the signs wrong. The funny thing is, I am so much happier of a person when I am dead center in God's perfect will- so why do I need to conform to society and the "churches" standards? See, the problem with the wrong kind of love is that it messes with your identity- who God called you to be. The Bible says that:
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
-1 John 4:18
Jesus is teaching me this through the power of His Holy Spirit: "Love perfects us". Love should never have to hurt, leave you lonely, be abusive (verbally, physically, emotionally or otherwise), compromise your values, change who you are- but rather embrace you-the real you. Ultimately; divinely- bringing out the best in you. For a long time in my life, I have been afraid to love because I spent most of my adult life getting acquainted with what Love is Not. But, today I look to Jesus the " author and perfecter of my faith" (Hebrews 12:2) and realise His Love gives me true freedom, joy, peace, self-esteem and power. His Love gives me the courage to Love and the braveness to Love again. I am slowly begin to realise and soak in this vital truth:
Jesus Loves Me- so much so- that He won't allow me to accept anything less than His perfect love when it comes to receiving it: True Love.
"We love him, because He first loved us".- 1 John 4:19
Love is Good. God is Love (1 John 4:8) and when that God of Love is leading this crucial part of your life (Yes- your Love Life!) things start to happen in the Spirit that manifest in the natural. So, in three short weeks, I have begun to realise three eternal truths:
- God wants to heal me even more badly than I want to be healed.
- His perfect love NEVER FAILS- no matter how many times I do.
- TRUE LOVE IS REAL and God wants to give me a Forever Love Story.
I hope my that my braveness ignites a spark for generations to come.
We are a peculiar people after all!
"But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light"- 1 Peter 2:9
Be #INCouraged
In Christ
©2013 Allison Marche' Pillay
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